Friday, December 16, 2005

My Medal of Honor

As told to Lt. Sgt. Dan B. on his journey...

You are about to embarq(s) on a great campaign. Across the vast expanse of the corn fields of Indiana to the front line of the battle field. The legend continues. Equal distance as that of your sibling (the bird of prey) both having equally dangerous and important missions. Some of you may not be coming back. I have assigned a ranger to see after the bird of prey. You however must accomplish your mission solo. Remember: you are the first and last line of defense. The front line is everywhere. In special forces we train our men to stay alive. On a quiet summer night you can hear Susie storm the pantry. Just like Normandy. Keep attacking until you gain a foothold. And then, don't stop until they are finished! You know what'cha gotta do! "You can never go home again." Back here you won't even be able to get a job parking cars! If you go into a bar and some Vietnamese kid says "shine, please, shine," make hast and grab Trevor. Remember Dad's 1953 R.V.? When you get back we're gonna cruise till the wheels fall off. Don't loose your legs to a chop-block. Word of advise: make your presence known. First day walk into the locker room and announce your arrival. I suggest a hearty "whoop-whoop-whoop!". That'll do donkey, that'll do. I feel it incumbent upon me to inform you that there may be a spy infiltrating our ranks. A double agent. I suspect him to be a Cuban nationalist. A dirty communist. Code name "Boz". Otherwise known as Sergeant Santiago Bostique. Intel has been keeping him under close surveillance. I recently caught the end of a transmission containing the phrase "don't leave early!" I can only speculate as to the meaning behind these words. Some of our friends in Intel have suggested that it may be regarding an invasion, which many believe to be immanent. I recommend all pick up a weapon and stand a post. I've been in many shitty situations, but none has ever sucked as much ass as this. If I would have known what I know now, I would have killed myself a long time ago. Then again, I still might. All I ever wanted to do was get out, get anywhere, get all the way to the F.B.I. Now all I ever think about is ways to get back. Of course, I don't think they'll set up any road blocks. Not for an old crook like me. I saw an automobile once. Now they're everywhere! The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. Boz has made it clear that it is his opinion that you are not the man for this mission. "No way he can make it on the outside." "I don't think the boy can handle it." But if you are the chosen one and you are to fulfill the prophecy, then you must go. Unless of course misread the prophecy was. Boz has insisted that he be the one to carry out the next mission. He has even went so far as to say that he "will resign" if he is not to be chosen. Only a communist deals in absolutes. I sense great fear in him. The council does not approve of his actions nor trust him. If you should come into contact with him, it is the wish of the council that you report all his dealings to the council. You will become a Jedi. I promise. I eagerly await your return. Until that time I will be sharpening my skills under the direction and supervision of General Glon. That is, until the time you are assigned your own unit. General Walkinfart wishes you luck on your journey, as do I. May the force be with you.

Adventure, excitement......a Jedi craves not these things.
Should you come into contact with any Code Red, please take pictures.

Commander Nic B.


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